Progress

I feel like I'm making progress, even if I don't know for sure if I have lost or gained.  Some of my clothes tell me I have gained, but I'm just not ready to give up yet.  I want to be able to say I gave it hell and did my best.  The hunger through the day has subsided, thankfully, and I'm starting to look forward to those smoothies.  I think next week I need to add some sort of exercise into the equation, can't hurt right?  I have filled my Federal Tax Return and am waiting on the refund.  As soon as that comes in, I will be joining a gym again.  I miss it, even though I wasn't loosing, it felt good to sweat.  To know that I was doing something for myself.  For personal reasons, I wanted out of the house more when I was going before, it wasn't some where I wanted to be.  Now, home is where the heart is, so leaving every night to go to the gym will be difficult, but I know its necessary and I will be happy once I have completed each workout.

Afterthought

I just realized this morning, when someone asked how the smoothies were working, that I didn't weigh or measure myself when I started all of this.  Silly me.  I think I was hoping to see results in my clothes.  Maybe I just didn't want to face the scale and that ugly number I know it will give me.  Regardless, I need to weigh and measure tonight.

As far as the "how's it going" question...I've been doing pretty well.  I've faltered here and there, as is my MO, but I'm still sticking to it for the most part.  And when I falter I make sure to do it with as little damage as possible.  Yesterday, I shared a small sub from a local deli with my co-worker who is doing smoothies with me.  Previously I would have eaten that whole small sub and some chips and washed it all down with a Dr. Pepper.  Baby steps, right?  I may not be making huge changes but I'm hoping that these small changes will lead to bigger ones and I know that they all make a difference, regardless of size.

The worst part is being hungry.  I know its psychological and I have heard that it takes about two weeks to get past that.  Well I'm on day seven, so hurry on up seven more days!  I try to have snacks, grapes, string cheese, apples, carrots, all that fun stuff but sometimes, I just really, and I mean REALLY want some chips.  But, I don't give in, so yay me!

Smoothies

There is much to catch up on, but since the title of this blog is Smoothies, I will stick to that.  Beverley and I decided last week that we were going to start replacing breakfast and lunch with smoothies.  We were off on Monday and had a snow storm on the way Tuesday so we (she really) didn't bring everything in to start because we figured we would be sent home before lunch on Tuesday and may not work Wednesday.  So, here it is Thursday, back to work I head.  Thinking while getting ready and driving to Harrington how much I want an Egg McMuffin for breakfast and a bacon cheeseburger for lunch.  I get to McDonalds and my window is frozen shut.  Sign of a true laziness here, I refused to walk into McDonalds and get the Egg McMuffin.  "It's ok", I thought, "I will have oatmeal for breakfast and Hardees for lunch.  I don't need to eat fast food for both anyway."  Then I arrive at work and make my oatmeal, day dreaming of that AH-MAZING bacon cheeseburger I will have for lunch.  BAM...my day dream is shattered by Beverely saying "I brought in the rest of the stuff so we could start smoothies today."  Sigh...Fast forward to lunch time.  Im STARVING (and still wanting that bacon cheeseburger) so I round up Beverley and our ingredients she has brought in.  "Should we find a recipe or just wing it?" I ask.  She replies "We are gonna wing it!".  So first goes in the spinach and plain yogurt, RRRRRAAAAARRRRR, the fancy Montel Smoothie Maker is doing it's thing.  Then we add some frozen mixed berries and a banana.  rrr.......nothing is happening.  The berries froze the spinach yogurt mixture and nothing would move.  So, we added some water and got out the fancy mixing stick thing and jostled everything around.  RRRRAAAAARRRRR, there it goes!  It's looks all mixed up and I decide to taste it.  It was BAD!  Oh, so BAD!  Beverely added some sweet-n-low to the mixture and we turned it back on.  Sweet-n-low GREATLY improved the flavor.  I think had we used vanilla yogurt, not plain, it would have been better.  I'm drinking the finished product, some what begrudgingly, and it's not bad.  It's not OH HELL GIMMIE MORE good either.  About half way through I started to feel full, so it has taken me about 30 minutes to finish up the last half.  I don't feel satisfied though.  There is a difference.  When you want something, ie a cheeseburger, you just aren't satisfied until you get it.  Im sure that satisfaction will come with drinking them a few times.  We always want what we can't have and the first week or so of dieting always sucks because all you can think about it what you can't have.  I hope that the full feeling lasts for the remainder of the day because I have no snacks here, I wasn't prepared for this.

Grrrr

Well Im basically at the end of my fourth week of dieting and second week of exercising and you know what?  Those three pounds I was down, they are back.  So, I haven’t lost anything.  Not one pound.  At what point does it start to work?  At what point do I get to reap the rewards of my hard work?  It’s very frustrating.  I think I will keep an actual food journal for the next two weeks and if there is still no change I will go see the doctor.  Something has to give.

Night time cravings

Frustrated by my cravings and binging, I did some research on “Evening Cravings”.  The articles I read said that the biggest reason behind them most times is that people eat “fat free” all day and your body needs fat so at night it freaks out and says “GIMMIE FAT!”.  I don’t specifically eat “fat free” BUT the food I eat through the day does not contain much fat.  Typical day: Little bit of cereal with not much fat, 1% milk on it, salad with light balsamic vinaigrette dressing for lunch and an apple for afternoon snack.  While grocery shopping yesterday for my meals for the week, I made it a point to find ways to get some fat in throughout the day.  I also think that I need a morning snack to keep the metabolism up.

Tonight at the gym is weight machines and cardio warm up.  I only need about 10 minutes of warm up but Im going to try for 30 minutes.  I will keep you posted!

Night time is my enemy

I find myself eating a lot at night.  I do so well during the day and it just all goes to hell at night.  I don’t know what to do or how to control it.  I find myself staring into the refrigerator looking for something, anything, to eat.  What to do, what to do…

My heart rate monitor came in yesterday.  Im so very tempted to wear it around the office for the day to see how many calories I burn in an average day.  I think it would be good to know.  Well I have gone and put it on so we shall see how many calories I burn for the next hour and then I will average it for the day and report back.   

It was the first time in over a year

Last night was my first night of exercise in over a year and boy do I feel it.  But, not only are my muscles sore, my spirits are high.  It feels great to be working toward this goal, I no longer say “I want to lose 80 pounds”, I say “Im going to lose 80 pounds”.  I think my mindset is different this time around.  I truly feel that I can do it this time.  All the times before it was “I’d really like to lose weight” but I don’t think I really WANTED it.  As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words and I plan to make my actions scream this time around!